你有沒有發現,自己的聊天方式正在悄悄“格式化”?
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打字溝通,能用“好滴”“好噠”“好嘟”,絕不說“好”;回復消息,末尾總要加一個“哈”或者“~”;但凡用了疊詞、語氣詞,后面必定附贈各種表情包。
A wave of online discussion has turned the most ordinary words into symbols of social anxiety, emotional labor, and generational shifts in communication.
When typing, people avoid a simple "okay" at all costs — opting instead for softer, cuter alternatives. Messages that end with a friendly "ha" or a tilde, and reduplicated words and emojis, have become the norm.
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不知從何時起,這些通貨膨脹的語氣詞和表情符號成為了越來越多人網絡聊天的必備技能。而這種行為,也被網友戲稱是患上了“文字討好癥”!
At some point, these overly sweet expressions became a standard part of online chatting. Netizens have coined a term for it: "texting pleasing syndrome".
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在社交平臺上的一條高贊帖子:“需要一個介于‘啦’和‘了’之間的詞”,更是引發2.1萬+點贊和2.3萬+留言。
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打開評論區,想不到網友們人均語氣詞的“十級選手”:“喵”“惹”“捏”……
語言文化的博大精深,在這一刻具象化了!
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當然,還有不走尋常路的“招數”:直接建議在句末加個L,“我走L、收到L、做好L……”讓對方自行腦補想要的那個語氣詞:“了、啦、咯、嘞、嚕……”
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其實,關于“文字討好癥”,不少網友認為,這在一定程度上避免了因“詞不達意”而導致溝通不愉快的風險。
但也有部分網友認為,所謂這些“討好”的語氣詞,其實毫無意義,反而增加了人設上的負擔、表達上的不暢快、真實情緒的過分隱藏等困擾。
Many internet users feel this is simply a way to avoid misunderstandings that can come from text's inability to convey mood. But others argue that these pleasing softeners are unnecessary — they force people into a performance, stifle natural expression, and bury genuine feelings.
心理學專家張珂指出:使用語氣詞也并非為了“討好”對方,而是盡可能地降低被誤判為攻擊性語言的概率,以及擔心交流不暢帶來的焦慮感。
Psychologist Zhang Ke notes that using these softeners isn't really about pleasing others. It's more about reducing the risk of being perceived as blunt or aggressive, and easing the anxiety that comes with worrying about miscommunication.
很多時候,我們隔著屏幕進行文字交流,語言中的情緒在傳遞時會被削弱,加上善意的語氣詞或表情包,能讓自己友好和善的行為得到應有理解的同時,也何嘗不是另一種對他人情緒的溫柔托舉?
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關于“討好”,在英文中,“討好型人格”通常被稱為people-pleaser。
《今日心理學》(Psychology Today)解釋道:“討好者”的問題出在對自我價值的認識上。
For many, the eagerness to please stems from self-worth issues. They hope that saying yes to everything asked of them will help them feel accepted and liked.
很多討好型人格的人之所以急于討好別人是因為自我價值這塊兒出了問題。他們希望自己做個老好人能換來接納與喜愛。
Other people-pleasers have a history of maltreatment and, somewhere along the way, decided that their best hope for better treatment was to try to please the people who mistreated them. Over time, people-pleasing became a way of life for them.
另外一些討好者以往受到過不好的對待,以至于到后來,他們就覺得,要得到更好的對待,就要討好那些不公平對待他們的人。長此以往,對這些人來說,討好他人成了一種生活常態。
回歸網絡表達本身,是否“文字討好”也許并不重要。
不被所謂的標簽定義,不為社交內耗所困,好好說話、真誠表達、有禮有節——這才是從“形式上的討好”到“本質上的尊重”的真正跨越。
最后,愿屏幕前的你,擁有語言表達的隨性,也擁有不“討好”這個世界的自由。
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來源:外研社Unipus
跟著China Daily
精讀英語新聞
“無痛”學英語,每天20分鐘就夠!
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